The Care-gifters: Giving the Gift of Care (Blog 12/17/24)
Typically when we think of holidays and special events like birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, etc, there is usually a flurry of celebrations accompanied with gift giving. Fortunately, there are many reminders given to us long in advance (seems like weeks and months nowadays!). These include calendar alerts, invites, social media posts, mail, retail store decorations and endless advertising so we can prepare to find and purchase that special gift for that occasion. It can get overwhelming and some people are happy that these events only occur every so often.
For family caregivers, however, gift giving is every day. Because every day they give the gift of care. Perhaps Jim McCann, Founder and CEO of 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, INC. (who knows a little about gift giving) stated it best when he graciously wrote the following comments in the Forward of our book, Working Caregivers – The Invisible Employees. He stated: “Caregivers are sharing a part of their lives and their precious time to help those in need. It’s a testament to the mantra embraced by our enterprise – ‘Giving is the Gift.’ They understand that caregiving is a unique form of a gift, the gift of giving.”
It is undeniable that the Covid pandemic beginning in 2020, brought the plight of these unpaid, unsung and often invisible family “care-gifters” to light. As more and more family members became seriously ill during the pandemic, many of the issues around family caregiving stepped out from the shadows and demanded to be dealt with. According to the AARP, the number of unpaid family caregivers in this country is around 53 million. And that number is steadily on the rise as our U.S. population continues to age.
One huge advocate for this army of caregiving individuals was former first lady, Rosalynn Carter. Having begun her family caregiver journey at the age of 12, when her father was diagnosed with leukemia, Mrs. Carter spent a large portion of her life uplifting, supporting, and inspiring others who were battling similar family care situations. She believed that at some point in our lives we all will either experience being a caregiver, or we will need a caregiver. With Mrs. Carter’s passing, we have both an opportunity and a challenge to help continue her life-long legacy of “caregifting.”
Currently, every day in the U.S. at least 10,000 people turn 65 years of age. Who is caring for the elderly and disabled people in this group who are unable to care for themselves? Enter, the unpaid family caregiver. These are the spouses, sons and daughters, grandchildren, siblings and significant others of the care recipient. Most of these individuals are working nine to five jobs while spending a large portion of their remaining hours each day, caring for their loved ones.
The difficulties associated with the role of a working caregiver, reach across all demographic categories, political party lines and financial income levels. In fact, the composition of family caregivers has become more diverse over the years, incorporating men and women, young and old, and people from many walks of life. But one thing they all have in common is their compassion for giving the gift of care. This is not a gift they had to spend hours shopping for. They only had to look one place to find it – their hearts. Oftentimes this happens quickly. A grandchild gets a call regarding grandma's critical diagnosis, and the opportunity to give the gift of care is upon them.
But, who cares for the working caregivers? Who uplifts them when they stumble from the weight of their multiple responsibilities? The answer to this question rests with each of us. And it does not take much: A pat on the back of gratitude from family members. A listening ear from close friends who stay connected throughout their journey. Empathy and flexibility from employers to ease the conflicting agendas of working while caring. These simple gestures can be invaluable to anyone trying to navigate this often arduous road.
Indeed, we have an opportunity to support those 53 million “care-gifters” by being there for them as they give the gift of care. By doing so, we help to give them recognition and visibility. We help to bring the difficult journey of the working “care-gifter” to the forefront so that they can receive the support they need to fuel them through their challenges.
So, regardless of what time of year it may be, let’s recognize and honor the priceless gift that caregivers give every day – the gift of care. We can consistently let them know that we see them and appreciate them. Not just during a particular season of the year, but every day. So, on behalf of those who have experienced the challenges of caregiving, or who anticipate one day needing care, thank you “care-gifters” for your incredibly generous and compassionate gift.
To our readers, we can’t let you go without giving you something to think about.
When was the last time you reached out to someone you know who is a family caregiver to see how they are doing?
Have you ever offered someone you know who is struggling with work and care responsibilities to complete a household chore for them, cut their yard, or have a meal delivered to help lighten their load for the day?
Do you make it a habit among your friends and family members who are working caregivers to pat them on the back and praise them for their generous gift of care?
These seemingly small tokens of appreciation can have a huge impact in keeping caregivers uplifted and energized. Remember, caring is a two way proposition. Caregivers give care to others, but once in a while it’s nice for them to receive a little care as well.
Until our next blog. Thank you for stopping by, reading, and for caring!