Caregiver Self-care: A Resolution for Every Year and Every Day (Blog 12/31/24)

As we head into the new year, we are reminded of a longstanding tradition. That of making personal resolutions about things we will do or do better this time around. We promise ourselves that we will eat healthier, exercise more, reduce the stress in our lives and things along those lines. Well, for family caregivers, sticking to these promises can be lifesaving.

 Facts and Opinions

 Did you know that (according to the Center for Disease Control) almost two in five family caregivers develop at least two chronic illnesses themselves? And did you know that 30% of family caregivers pass away before the person they are caring for? That percentage increases to 40% for Alzheimer’s caregivers. (AgingCare.com) These are not scare tactics, just the facts. Self-care is a critical component to the health and well-being of the caregiver as well as the care recipient. Just as we are reminded when we travel on an airplane to put our oxygen mask on first before trying to assist someone else, the same is true for caregiving. Similarly, how can you pull a drowning person out of the water if you can’t stay afloat yourself? Perhaps these examples are oversimplified but the point is that being a family caregiver starts with caring for yourself.

 In our opinion, it's not being selfish to care for yourself first. To the contrary, you are helping your loved one by doing so. Think of yourself as a tool that helps them prolong their wellness and longevity. Just like a rusty power drill is not that useful, neither is a burned-out, stressed-out caregiver. Every doctor’s appointment you cancel for yourself because you took your loved one to their appointment instead, and every meal that you skip because you were grocery shopping or picking up medication for your family member pushes you closer to jeopardizing your own personal wellness. Consider a recent statement issued by the Department of Health and Human Services as follows:

 “Family caregivers are the backbone of the nation’s system of long-term care…But when they do not have training, support, and opportunities for rest and self-care, their health, well-being, and quality of life often suffer…. And if caregivers are unable to continue to provide care … This deprives the person receiving support of their right to live in their community and often results in poorer health, usually at an increased cost to public programs.”

 The slippery slope created by this scenario can have dire consequences for all concerned. Caregiver self-care is critical in helping to avoid these negative and frequently unrecoverable outcomes.

  What Does Self-care Look Like?

We take a somewhat broad perspective of self-care. We are not talking about manicures, pedicures or a day at the spa. We’re talking about much more than that. Of course, those things may be included as part of your self-care regime, but our definition of caring for yourself is broader than just those type of occasional activities. We’re referring to daily activities and practices that you incorporate into your schedule to help keep you well and energized both mentally and physically. Daily walks, a trip to the gym, yoga, a good book, a movie, getting more sleep, a conversation with a friend or anything that gives you a break from your caregiving duties. And of course, a very important priority in caring for yourself is scheduling and keeping regular appointments with your doctor.

 In our book (Working Caregivers – The Invisible Employees), we give the example of a man who was caring for his elderly father with chronic illnesses. One morning he work up with chest pains himself. He was rushed to the ER and found out that he had a heart attack. His first reaction was, “Thank God, now I will get a break from having to take care of my dad.” It’s safe to say that none of us want our break from caregiving to be in the form of getting sick ourselves.

 You Can’t Do It Alone

 An essential requirement in caregiver self-help is getting the support you need. You can’t do it all by yourself. It’s okay to ask for help. Take advantage of community resources such as:

 ·         Respite care facilities

·         Local senior centers

·         Offices on aging or social services

·         Faith community programs

·         On-line caregiver support groups

 Keep in mind that often help comes from where you least expect it – a next door neighbor, a distant relative, a recent acquaintance. Family caregiving is a difficult journey that requires help along the way. Trying to do it alone can result in health risks not only to you as the caregiver, but also for the care recipient. If we were making road signs for the caregiver journey, perhaps there would be messages like: “Slow Down,”  “Rough Road,” “You Are Not Alone.”  “Stop, Rest”

 Wrap Up

 Well, you have our two cents on the issue of caregiver self-care for what it’s worth. As the New Year is fast approaching, we hope that you are thinking about incorporating your self-care into your resolutions for the coming year. Even more so, we hope that you keep those promises that you make to yourself to do better and be better, for your sake as well as for that of your loved one. Wishing you a happy and healthy New Year. Here’s to you!

 Until the next blog!

 Thank you for reading, for being there and for caring!

References

 -          U.S. Department of Health and human Services, HHS Releases Progress Report on Federal Implementation of the National Strategy to Support Family Caregivers, September 17, 2024.

-          National Institute on Aging, Taking Care of Yourself: Tips for Caregivers, October 12, 2023.

-          Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Supporting Caregivers An Emerging Public Health Issue, last reviewed: November 22. 2021.